RAIN! Plus, BabaAnne's Cooking Marathon

Wow, it is raining here!  In coming here for five years I have seen it rain twice, today is the second.  It is only a very, very light sprinkle, but man, it is unusual in these parts.  Yesterday was cloudy and breezy but insanely hot.  I guess we are not used to humidity.  So that's the weather update.

Oh I am so bummed to be missing the convention coverage!  I can't get a live-stream here and so I can only read other people's reaction to the speeches.  From what I have read it has been fabulous.  I have to say I really wish I could feel more a part of this historic election.  I think Barack Obama is an amazing candidate and I wish I could be involved.  I keep getting emails asking me to host or attend events or to get involved with voter registration and I am sad that I can't.  I have to find a way to watch Obama's speech today, I JUST HAVE TO!  Derya is sending my Obama T-shirt that arrived after I left.  I am hoping to find other ex-pat Obama supporters in Istanbul so we can have an election night party.

We have sickness going through the house.  Selcuk was sick for several days, then Taylan was sick and ran a fever all night and most of the next day before we took him to the Doctor.  He was put on an antibiotic.  Now I have a cold.  Oh well we are all recovering.

BabaAnne is nearing the end of a cooking marathon, which she began Monday afternoon.  She bought vast amounts of tomatoes and red peppers so she could make salca (pronounced salcha, meaning tomato or pepper paste) and a kind of dried soup base called tarhani.  First, she washed all the peppers, split them and took the seeds out, and then laid them to dry on newspaper on the roof.  Then she cut up the tomatoes, put them into big buckets of water, put lids on them, and let them soak for a day.  Then she borrowed the neighbors food processor (how she and others managed to make these things before food processors is beyond me) and spent at least an hour mincing up the peppers.  Then she spread them out in pans and put them on the roof.  Then she started smashing the tomatoes through a pan with holes in it, sort of like a sieve, and then cooked many pots of smashed tomatoes, and tomato water on the stove for hours.  Then she spread out the smashed tomatoes and the reduced tomato water in pans and put them on the roof to dry.  Meanwhile, she also put some smashed peppers and tomatoes in a huge bucket, added some other stuff including flour and yeast, and let it sit with a lid for several days.  The orangey mixture rose to fill the bucket, and then she and Nehir dropped blobs of it all over a tablecloth so it can dry.  She was careful not to mush it down while putting it on the table cloth.  After this dries I am assuming she will grind it up and put it in jars.  I have had tarhini soup and it is made from a crumbly powder.  So I guess when all this stuff dries she will have crossed the finish line.  It seems like the hardest part of the work is over, and she did it all in tremendous, oppressive heat.  She is pretty amazing.  I have been told the reason for doing all this work as opposed to just purchasing Salca is that it is tastier and healthier.  BabaAnne is clearly much more industrious than me.  Put another way, I would have been kicked out of my village for sloth if I was born where and when she was.

Happy Kids

Today we went to the beach in Guzelcamli and had a great time.  Nehir has left his fears behind and has discovered his inner fish.  He loves to swim and as his confidence grows so do his skills. Earlier this summer trips to the beach involved essentially forcing him to go, and then Selcuk and I would take turns being the one who had to take a break from swimming to follow Nehir around while he rolled around in the sand, getting completely covered in the stuff.  When we were ready to go, one of us would have to force him to take a shower to get the bulk of the grit off of him, and this would involve much shrieking.  

Now he can barely wait for us to get our beach stuff set up before he plunges into the water. He has learned to take a breath and keep going and to dive under to pick stuff up.  He was really happy today, which makes all of us happy too.

Taylan too had a great time, but he always does.  He loves the water and only complains when we try to take him out before he is ready.  There were no waves today so he could walk along in waist-high water and he thought that was cool. He also enjoyed running up the beach into the sand and then doing a belly-flop into the sand.  This meant another trip back into the water to rinse off the sand, followed by another belly-flop, etc. etc.  It was great to see both kids so happy.

Nehir's giant drip-sand castle.

Taylan taking a dip in a little bucket.

A Young Photographer's Debute

A couple of days ago Selcuk let Nehir wander around the neighborhood with our camera.  He really enjoyed taking pictures and he seemed so pleased when I downloaded them that we decided to have a little party to show his pictures.  We took him to the store where he picked out the treats: Chocolate milk for the kids, soda for the grown-ups, chips, cookies and fruit.  He invited two of the neighborhood kids that he plays with the most, but when we asked about grownups he said "I am NOT dealing with grownups! If YOU want to invite the grownups, then YOU do it."  Selcuk and I cracked up noting how much he sounds like me sometimes. We did end up inviting several grownups that are always kind to Nehir, and we had a splendid time. Nehir and his buddies were very excited about the snacks and the idea of a party.  After everyone had some snacks I showed Nehir's pictures plus a few I had taken of the neighborhood kids.  Nehir received lots of praise and I could tell he felt great.  Below are some of the photos he took.

Most of his shots are of flowers.

He also likes taking shots of trees and I thought this one turned out nice with the sun shining through the leaves.
This is a cute little vine BabaAnne planted in the veggie garden.
This is our house from across the common area.
Self portrait.  Note the missing tooth. It finally fell out a couple nights ago.

This and That

We have been having a heat wave, which means we haven't been doing a lot, just hanging out on the balcony until the heat breaks in the evening. A couple days ago there was an eclipse of the moon, here are the pictures.

Yesterday we had breakfast at a village restaurant.  It is very pretty and it has delicious, organic food grown and prepared in the local village.  This kind of restaurant has become popular in Turkey, but the one we went to is the first of its kind and started the trend.  The owner is a friend of Selcuk's friend.
This is Taylan out for his morning stroll.  

This is Nehir's new haircut.  This morning Taylan started to moo and Nehir, noting that Taylan moos quite a bit, speculated that perhaps he is a werecow.  He has a great sense of humor.

Here is BabaAnne helping Taylan beat the heat.

This is where I will be buying all of your Christmas presents.

Thank You Derya!

Thanks to Derya we now have our camera battery recharger which means I can post pictures. Here is a little taste of life on a typical day:

In the morning, Taylan begs to go out in the garden.  Here he is with Babaanne, inspecting the flowers.
Nehir with his "pet" grasshopper.
Nehir in the hammock.
Here is one side of our house.
And this is the front.  The line going down the middle marks where our house ends and the neighbors house begins.  Each building has two houses.
This is us playing Okay, something that we do frequently in the evenings.  The neighbors play non-stop, all day long.  I enjoy it up to a point, but many people here are crazy for the game.

Zeus Magarasi

The weather here has turned HOT.  I guess it must be a "dry heat," as the say, because if we don't do anything and sit in a shady spot we are fine, but any exertion at all leaves us dripping with sweat.  To beat the heat Selcuk and I went to Zeus Magarasi, a cave with a giant cold-water spring in it.  It is maybe 1.5 miles away, right before the Mili Park entrance.  The opening is large, and a few yards down from the entrance is the cold water.  The water reaches to all the walls and is quite deep.  The rumor is that there are under-water passages that go for miles.  There are a few rock islands that you can swim to and sit for awhile.  The water is wonderfully cold and fresh and clear.  When I first get in I have trouble breathing normally because it is so cold.  Last year we brought Nehir with us but this year he is feeling more fearful about swimming in general and said the water was too cold so he stayed home. 

Nehir has been playing with an older boy all day.  I think their play goes smoother because the older boy understands that Nehir is little and sort of looks out for him.  He gets kind of manipulative sometimes, like telling Nehir that he should be able to ride Nehir's bike all night instead of taking turns or else he will not invite him over to watch cartoons.  Nehir has learned, however, to get adult help in such situations instead of screaming or hitting, so we just tell the older kid to play nice and then he does.

Taylan has scrapes on his knees from tripping repeatedly while walking around the neighborhood paths.  He loves to be out in the garden area and gets really upset when we make him stay on the balcony.  The only reason we make him stay in is to avoid the beastly hot, midday sun.  He has taken a shine to Dede and is constantly begging him to take him out in the garden.  He calls out some gibberish to get his attention, arches his back and puts his hands in the air.  If Dede doesn't pick him up right away, he resorts to his angry cry/scream.  Dede loves being favored in this way, but I think he gets weary of carrying Taylan around much of the day.  He also takes him over to see the cows.  Taylan moos by putting his head back and humming loudly. 

Selcuk found out he made the first cut for an important grant award.  He was one of 58 applicants, and they selected 17, including him as finalists.  They will pick 4-5 to receive grants.  He is very happy to have made the first cut and I am happy too, it is a really good proposal.

Stars and Bars

Two nights ago there was a meteor shower so Selcuk, Nehir, Anne and I went up to our roof-top balcony and watched falling stars.  Nehir saw the first one, and then fell asleep.  I saw about ten. At one point I saw what I thought was a falling star enter my field of vision but as it passed overhead it morphed into a huge flying animal and scared me half to death.  It was two bats that were probably only about five or six inches across but they looked bigger because they were lit from underneath and flew a few yards overhead.  It was a nice night but I noticed I became pretty superstitious about the wishes.  I kept thinking of more things I needed wish for and so I would stay up a little longer so I could make the next wish.  I did eventually go to bed.

Last night Selcuk and I went to a bar on the beach to watch a Galatasaray football (soccer) game.  It was really fun but at times frustrating because there was also a Fenerbahce game on (a rival team) and the owner kept switching to that game even though we had paid to watch the Galatasaray game.  I had fun anyway, I like being in a crowd of fans sometimes.  The game was a tie.

I read in my book that one of the few consistent correlates between childhood variables and adult depression is whether or not children have chores.  Children who have chores are less likely to develop depression.  I suspect it has to do with "flow" or the experience of loosing a sense of time.  Flow is not necessarily a "happy" experience, more a meditative experience that happens when we are immersed in something and it is strongly connected to a sense of well-being.  A weird finding is that very wealthy kids experience less flow, and I am guessing it is because they do not have as many responsibilities that offer the chance to get immersed in something.  So at any rate, I asked Nehir what chore he wanted and after hearing a list of age-appropriate chores, he came up with the not age-appropriate chore of doing the dishes.  I agreed that we could do the morning dishes together (less of them) from now on.  He LOVES doing the dishes and he is a really hard worker.  He reminds me he should do the dishes when I forget.  I am really proud of him.  

Taylan is doing his thing; smiling, mooing at the cows, chatting nonsensically with the neighbors.  He is a delight.

Super Nehir Eats Sticks!

That is what Nehir declared as he was eating a parsley stem at Breakfast this morning.  He loves to eat fresh dill and Parsley and he is impressed with himself when he eats the stems or "sticks." He considers it a superpower.  

Yesterday we went on an outing to Priene and Miletos, two ancient Greek cities that are fairly close to our house.  Nehir started the day with complaining about having to go, but his mood changed rapidly when he and I got to ride in our neighbor's fancy care.  We lucked out and got a cool, breezy day.  Priene is on the other side of the mountains from our house and it is was a large port city with a theater, complete with an alter to Demeter, the god of theater.  There was also a large temple to Athena overlooking the city center area. Alexander the great visited this city. The view from the hill used to be the sea, but the sea is now 7km away due to silt from the mountains accumulating over the years.  It is now very fertile land.  The site has many large pine trees growing all around the ruins, so whenever we would get hot in the sun, we could duck into the shade for a few minutes and cool down in the nice breeze.  Nehir really enjoyed exploring and Taylan seemed content in the backpack (thanks Mom!).

We then crossed the valley to the ancient city of Miletos, which was also an important port city and is now several km from the sea.  Thales was from Miletos, as was Bias, and the original "tyrants" (nice claim to fame eh?).  I hadn't realized that there was a guy named Bias, I wonder if the word bias comes from his name?  This is a spectacular site.  We went into the amphitheater first which is enormous and well preserved.  There are huge, stone tunnels and staircases behind the theater benches so the people could get up to the higher levels (just like baseball stadiums today.  It is very cool inside the tunnels which makes one realize how useful the stone buildings are and were for such a hot land.  It is truly awe inspiring to think that ordinary people built these massive stone cities without modern machines.  After leaving the theater we were at the top of a hill and the remains of the city stretched out below.  There were remains of temples, houses, the senate meeting hall, the town square, bath houses, and much more.  It was very impressive and Nehir, despite a nasty fall, was a great little explorer and enjoyed imagining the city as it might have been all those years ago.  "Imagine this is where the kings came in and maybe the guards stood there..."

In other news, I found my book and it had some good suggestions for fostering positive thinking in children.   

Theater at Priene
Temple for Athena
Melitos Ampitheater
Priene ruins and valley
Bath house ruins at Miletos

Fig Season

Fresh figs are one of those things that you can only eat during one brief season a year.  I have never had really good fresh figs in the United States, so for those of you who think you don't like figs, don't be so sure.  I have seen two kinds in Turkey, green and dark purple-brown.  The green ones are more common and both are incredibly sweet and succulent.  We planted a fig tree several years ago and it has grown very fast and this year it has a least twenty figs on it, some of which we have already eaten.  

Our garden is brimming with delicious fruits and vegetables including figs, peaches (now all eaten), plums, tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, peppers, mint and basil.  We also have pear, apricot and pomegranate trees but they did not produce fruit this year.  Taylan loves to pick the fruit and vegetables.  This morning he reached through the railing on the side of the balcony and picked a green tomato, put it in a flowerpot, and came walking back to where I was sitting with a huge grin on his face.  He then pulled the tomato out and bit it and spat it out again, all while smiling.  I gave him a basket instead of the dirty flowerpot and took him to the garden to pick a red tomato and a plum.  He ate bites of both and seemed very please with himself.  He also likes to pick flowers, but sometimes he eats them instead of smelling them.

Nehir has become more fussy about food.  He is very skinny and so people are trying to get him to eat more, and being Nehir, this makes him less likely to eat.  I tend to feel that kids should make their own food choices for the most part, but I find it hard to stick to my guns when others around me are so worried about his eating.  I have come to a compromise in my mind where I do insist he eats, but I will let him eat alternate foods if he doesn't like what is being served.  This means he eats a lot of cheese.  He still is a good eater in terms of fruits and vegetables, but he likes them plain, not cooked and mixed with other foods.  That is fine with me because I think raw vegetables pack a healthier punch.  His favorite fruit is peaches or seftali (chef - tall - ee).  He is different than many kids because instead of wanting the fuzzy skin removed, this is his favorite part.  He frequently eats all the skin off and leaves the soft middle lying on the table.  

Both kids are doing great, and Selcuk and I are also very happy.  We just had another article accepted for publication!  That means I will have two publications this year, one in which I am the solo author, and one in which I am the first author.  Yay.

Here comes Baldy

Yesterday all the neighborhood women were invited over to a neighbor's house for afternoon tea.  She had prepared puffy, fried bread, a bulgar salad called kisir, and various bready things.  It was nice, I actually managed a couple conversations sans translator.  Nehir was playing with the a neighbor named Ozan, who is also five.  They got along well all afternoon, I was really pleased.

Taylan was busy showing off for the women, dancing, talking loudly to the tomato plants, his usual repertoire.  The men were all gathered on a different porch without any food, boo-hoo.  Actually one of the women took pity on them and took them some treats.  The set-up caused Nehir to ask "Why are all the men and all the women separated (pronounced separate -ed, with 3 syllables not 4)?"  I wasn't sure myself so I just said that is how they wanted to be today.

At any rate, after about an hour Selcuk drove by and called through the window that he was going to the barber.  He was gone and unusually long time, and when he finally came back, he was completely bald! Nehir saw him first, and did a classic double-take.  "Baba!" he shouted in alarm.  I saw him next and said "What did you do?  What were you thinking?"  I was laughing when I said this, not angry, he just looked so strange.  Taylan was next and he stared for a couple seconds, but got over it quickly and was back to smiling and hugging pretty quick.  Everyone else laughed.  He looks a lot like a genie now.  If he pierced his ear I would start expecting him to clean my floors like magic!  I am so sorry I can't post pictures but I did take some video so eventually you will be able to see his bald head.

In other news, I lost my positive psychology book before I finished it. Damn it! Now I will never be an optimist!

Datca

We got back from Datca last night and we had a great time.  Datca is a small town on a peninsula that marks where the Agean sea meets the Mediterranean.  The area is much less developed than some Nearby beach towns because it is fairly difficult to get to.  The drive in goes through many mountains and we saw some beautiful views.  

Below is a picture of the edge of town where we were.  On the left hand side you can see the edge of the place we were staying.  That round pool is on the grounds of Club Datca.  We had a two room suite and the grounds had two salt water pools, one for kids and a big one.  It also had pool tables and other games for kids.  The grounds end right on the sea-side path so every evening we would walk into downtown and relax in a cafe and watch the water.
Here is a view of the town.  It is surrounded by green mountains and there are lots of boats in the harbor so it is very picturesque.  
We went on an outing to Knidos which is about 40 minutes from Datca, on the very end of the peninsula.  It is where the Mediterranean and the Agean meet and Lucian said Aphrodite rose from the foam there.  There is a large ancient Greek town here and it has only begun to be excavated.  It is estimated to stretch for 7 KM.  Selcuk was here many years ago and remembered seeing mosaics.  He asked where they were and he was told the archeologists have buried them until they can be properly displayed because idiot tourists were chipping pieces off.  I think they will probably be excavating the site for at least a decade and it will rival Ephasus when completed.  We climbed up through the ancient city and saw some fantastic views.  Nehir at first was really bummed and got out of the car saying "It's just more old castle!" His adventurous spirit took over, however, and he ended up really enjoying climbing the hill and looking at the ruins.  He pretended he was hunting for dragons and finding dragon remains (a rock became dragon brains).  

On the way back we stopped at a couple of places, one of which was called Akyaka.  It is spectacularly beautiful and Selcuk and I decided this was where we want to retire.  It is nestled in a beautiful valley in Gokova bay: see below.

All in all it was a great trip but we are glad to be back in our pretty, comfy home in Guzelcamli.

Off to Datca

We are going on a mini-vacation to Datca (Datcha), so I won't post for several days.  By the way, we left our battery recharger in America, so no pictures until Derya can send it.  Sorry.

My Kids

Nothing much going on here today.  Anne and Baba are in Izmir for a wedding so we don't have any handy babysitters which means that, unless we go on an outing, the days are spent hanging around the house watching the kids.  So, here is what the kids are up to:

Nehir is learning how to negotiate friendships.  His best friend here is younger than him (4) and has a habit of saying "this is mine" about Nehir's toys.  I really can't tell if he is trying to bother Nehir or just trying to establish that he is going to play with that toy now.  Nehir goes berserk when he does this.  We have had to intervene in many fights and break up play-dates because their play descends into blood curdling screaming and occasional low-key violence.  I think I finally helped Nehir understand that even if Yusuf says it is his toy, it doesn't mean it is his toy, and we won't let him take his toys.  I also think Nehir is getting better at telling me what is bothering him instead of trying to out-scream Yusuf.  At any rate, today there has been less freaking out and more play.  

Nehir is also very happy about his little room. We converted a little balcony into a room by putting windows around it.  BabaAnne made thick curtains to block the intense morning sun, and now it is his little haven.  There is just enough room for his bed and a tiny bit of space around the bed.  It is more like a nest than a room.  He loves it and has been enjoying decorating it.

Nehir also continues to live in his fantasy world.  He loves, loves, loves all things related to superheroes.  His own creation, Cheetah Man, has massive, unlimited powers and is clearly how Nehir copes with insecurities.  He is an anxious guy sometimes, so I am trying really hard to help him learn optimistic habits.  I am reading a book about positive psychology to help me out with this.  Selcuk and I are not models of happy-go-lucky people so we have to be really careful about how we interact with him.  We are both working on setting boundaries with our head-strong little guy without showing unnecessary anger and stress.  It is easier said than done, needless to say.

Overall Nehir is doing really well.  His Dede thinks he is a genius and he is clearly an unbiased, impartial judge. There is no doubt that he is smart and I think school will be great for him.  He seems like a person who needs structure.  

Taylan is also doing well.  His favorite activities include running around naked, dancing, swimming, and talking jibberish.  He is so good natured and full of fun.  Even when he is mad and trying to throw a temper tantrum it is hard to take him seriously because he looks cute while doing it.  

He loves the cows that hang out in nearby lots (just like cousin Evan) and calls them doggies. Actually, most things that he tries to say sound like doggy. He understands a lot, but he seems to go for the syllables of words and the differences in sounds are still beyond him.  Thus, the only words he clearly, without a doubt, can say are doggy, Mama, Baba, Dede, and Derya.  I think he says Laura too, but since we haven't seen her recently, I can't be sure.  There are many other things that he calls dada because they have two syllables.

Taylan loves water. When we take him to the sea it is a challenge to keep him from jumping out of my arms into the water. He clearly wants to go solo and is frustrated if I try to hold him too close.  He likes it best if I hold him around the torso standing behind him so he can kick like a frog and flap his arms at the same time.  He squeals with joy and excitement while he swims. He has accidently plunged his face in a couple of times but, after looking startled for a couple seconds, he was fine and ready for more splashing.  I have been tempted to let go and see if all his furious motion could actually keep him afloat, but of course I don't, I wouldn't want to ruin his love or the water or his sense of safety.

Last night I gave Taylan a bath and then nursed him to sleep and I could not believe how beautiful and soft and innocent he was. Then I peeked in on Nehir's little nest and he was peacefully sleeping, kids are always so lovely when they sleep.  Selcuk and I are so lucky to have such wonderful little boys.

Selcuk and Sirince

Our outing yesterday was a big success. Nehir was very excited about the ruins and pretended he was Indiana Jones (he knows him from the legos, not the movies).  I was really happy to see how much he enjoyed himself and when we said it was time to go, he said "not yet!"  No whining at all. We then went to Sirince and had a wonderful lunch of gozleme (flat bread with filling inside cooked on a big pan over a fire), ayran (yoghurt drink) and sarma (stuffed grape leaves).  Sirince is a village on a mountain near Selcuk.  It used to be a Greek village but when the exchange was enforced, (Turks and Greeks living in each others' countries were forced back to their own countries) Turks moved in.  It has been beautifully restored or preserved, I am not sure which.   All the buildings are white with wooden details.  The streets are very steep and made of stone.  The villagers make their money through tourism, farming and making wine.  Selcuk says that it is a hide-away for very wealthy Turks.  We bought Nehir a tiny snow-globe that he admired.  

When we got home Nehir put his new snow-globe in his room and then he and Selcuk went for a bike-ride.  Later I went for a "nature walk" with Nehir and the neighbor's kid so we could collect beautiful things for Nehir to decorate his room with.  He picked a bunch of leaves and flowers, including some nane (nahnay) or mint so his room would smell nice.  

Nehir has been asking me weird questions like "Why don't humans have two heads?" and "What happens if I get fired from my job making movies?"  I don't know why he is worried about getting fired from a hypothetical job, this is not something Selcuk and I worry about in our own lives, but I guess he heard of "being fired" and decided he needed to worry about it.  He is a strange little boy at times, but so funny. 

Pictures

Here are some photos from earlier in July.  I will have to ration the photos I downloaded before the batteries ran out until I can get the camera recharged.

Anne and Baba (BabaAnna and Dede to the kids) in Didim

Dede and Taylan
Family swim
Nehir with a neighbor